It may be cynical to come right out and say it, but even if this magazine contains heretofore unseen writing by internationally prominent figures, creative works from unusually talented members of the Stanford community, etc., no amount of chest-pounding on our part is going to make you turn to another page (page thirty-three, for instance, where we have put a large picture of a skeletal trout). Marketing alone is not enough. No, the thing these days is segmented marketing.

For this reason, we have decided to target the most sentimental member of the Stanford readership: the Fuzzie. The Fuzzie is a strange creature, susceptible to the charms of print journalism, and with this in mind, we, the new editors-in-chief of The Claw, have conducted an extensive study of the subspecies. It is our hope that this research will lay the foundation for future scholarship on this fascinating archetype.

We present you with our respective lists:

STUFF FUZZIES LIKE

1. The COHO
2. The Bookstore Café
3. Coupa Café
4. Kopa Café
5. Mourning the loss of Moonbeams
6. Wine
7. Cheese
8.  Kairos Wine and Cheese
9.  Co-ops
10.  French House
11.  French House Café Night
12.  British spellings
13.  The Oxford comma
14.  Studying abroad at Oxford
15.  The idea of Latin America
16.  The idea of Africa
17.  Europe
18.  Asians
19.  Castro
20.  Fidel Castro
21.  Pretending to hate capitalism
22.  The Castro
23.  Gay people
24.  Annie Leibovitz
25.  Andy Warhol
26.  Skinny jeans
27.  Snail mail
28.  Moleskine notebooks
29.  Fingerless gloves
30.  Cardigans, blazers, and other forms of outerwear that are not sweatshirts
31.  Spectacles
32.  Leather messenger bags
33.  Fixies
34.  Not IHUM
35.  Not math
36.  Wearing a keffiyeh from Urban Outfitters
37.  Smoking hookah
38.  Smoking other things
39.  Ratatat
40.  Ratatat remixes
41.  Cummings Art Building
42.  Cantor Arts Center
43.  The idea of Y2E2
44.  Macs
45.  The New York Times
46.  Insisting the humanities are useful
47.  Complaining
48.  Irony

Max:

1.      Citrus
2.      Wicker?

And with additional input from our senior and art & design editors:

Claire:

1. The idea of this list

Charlie:

1.  Two-part questions